Resources on Early Learning

Tip Sheets

As our preschoolers grow more independent, we still need to supervise them closely, but most of us also want to teach our children about dealing with strangers. Alerting children to "stranger danger" can both help them to be safe and reduce parents' anxiety. How can we teach children to be wary of strangers but not to be overly fearful?

Tell her more than just "Don't talk to strangers." She may not understand that strangers look like the people she sees every day. She may also wonder why it's all right to talk to a new teacher or neighbor—people who are strangers at first—and not to others.

Explain simple rules for staying safe. Try practicing or role-playing situations involving the use of these rules with your child.

• "It's okay to talk to someone if I'm with you or when I tell you it's all right."
• "Grown-ups who need help should ask other grown-ups, not children, for help. This includes carrying a package or finding a place or a lost puppy."
• "Stay near me or the grown-up with you in public places, such as stores or parks."
• "If you're not close to us, stay an arm's length or more from someone you don't know. Back up or run for help if an unfamiliar grown-up gets too close. Scream and kick if a stranger grabs you."
• "If you get lost, find a police officer, security person, or store clerk. If separated from me or the grown-up you're with in a public place, such as at a store or shopping mall, stay in that spot until someone finds you."
• "Don't go anywhere with someone you don't know."
• "Never take anything from a stranger."
• "Listen to your feelings. If you're scared, get away and look for someone to help you."

Read books on strangers with your children and talk about what you've read. Your librarian can suggest titles, or you may want to consider these children's books:

• A Stranger in the Park by Stuart Fitts and Donna Day Asay (1999).
• Never Talk to Strangers by Irma Joyce and S. D. Schindler (2000).
• The Berenstain Bears Learn about Strangers by Stan and Jan Berenstain (1985).

Read more on keeping your children safe. Personal Safety for Children: A Guide for Parents is available online, or print copies may be ordered.

Education Publication Center (Ed Pubs)
P.O. Box 1398, Jessup, MD 20794-1398
Telephone (Toll-free): 877-433-7827
E-mail: edpubs@inet.ed.gov
Internet: http://www.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/safety/index.html

To learn more about protecting your child from strangers, visit these web sites.

• Strangers
  http://www.safechild.org/strangers.htm
• Tips for Safeguarding Your Child
  http://www.childluresprevention.com/parents/tips.asp
• Personal Safety for Children
  http://www.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/safety/personal_safety.pdf
• Talking about Stranger Danger
  http://ctw.netscape.com/parents/solutions/communication/
  article.php?contentId=109402§ionKey=safety

The opinions, resources, and referrals provided in this Tip Sheet are intended for information purposes only and should not be considered or used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We advise parents to seek the advice of a physician or other qualified health care provider with questions regarding their child’s health or medical conditions.

Spanish: Cómo enseñar a los niños a evitar el "peligro de los desconocidos"

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