Resources on Early Learning
FAQs
What Do I Need to Know about Social and Emotional Development in Young Children?
How does a child develop emotionally and socially from birth to 5?
The First Year
Although most babies go through similar stages as they develop emotionally and socially during the first 5 years, adults will also see their children’s individual personalities begin to unfold.
During the first 6 months of life, babies begin to smile at people. They enjoy being talked to and played with. They may imitate some of the facial expressions and movements they see, and they may show a preference for some people, usually their parents, over others.
During the next 6 months, babies often become shy and fearful of strangers. They may cry when a parent leaves and may show a preference for one parent or caretaker over anyone else. Many will try out behaviors with a parent, such as dropping a toy or refusing to eat a certain food. Infants imitate not only sounds but also gestures, and they clearly enjoy the attention this behavior may bring. Many babies from 6 months to a year will begin to cooperate with feeding or dressing by picking up finger foods or holding out an arm for a sleeve.
The Second Year
A 1-year-old is still the center of her own world. She may enjoy playing beside another child, but she doesn’t really understand sharing. A toddler pokes an eye or pulls hair without realizing that this behavior hurts another child. By about 18 months, she may learn her own name and recognize her own reflection in a mirror. She may try to help a parent by imitating the parent’s actions in picking up toys or sweeping the floor. As children approach 2 years of age, they may start to pull away from their parent, becoming less dependent. For good reason, people call this the “NO” stage!
Two-year-olds often become insistently independent. They seem self-centered as they slowly learn about the world outside themselves. Many will not share or take turns and may not play easily with others. Aggressive behavior is more frequent and deliberate than it was when they were younger. A child may seem to refuse to listen but imitate his parent’s tone and words exactly when speaking to another child or his teddy bear. Emotional highs and lows are common. A 2-year-old may be on his worst behavior with the person he trusts the most. The limits he needs for his own safety, as well as for the rights of others, may bring on tantrums. However, he may also be an openly affectionate and enthusiastic companion.
The Third Year
Three-year-old children often are more willing than when they were younger to be apart from parents and to enjoy playing with others. With encouragement, a child may develop the ability to take turns and share. She may pretend to be a character from a television show or a story. Many 3-year-olds show definite gender differences in activities. They begin to learn to work out minor disagreements with playmates so the game can continue. At this age, many children have make-believe friends. At times, they need help knowing what is real and what is fantasy.
The Fourth Year
Between 3 and 5 years of age, children often enjoy friends enough to want to please them and be like them. They may agree more readily to rules as they get older. They may seem to care more about what their friends say and do than about their parents’ standards. They need to be taught the difference between accidents and deliberate misbehavior, between a bad action and a bad person. They usually understand what is real and what is make-believe. Many will show some empathy for others. Children may begin to show an interest in basic sexuality, both their own and that of the opposite sex (see http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/pages/Talking-to-Your-Young-Child-About-Sex.aspx).
What should parents do if they are concerned about their child’s development?
Parents who wonder whether their child’s development is “normal” may want to compare their child’s progress to the milestones for typical children in books or in the Web resources listed below. If you think there may be a problem or if there is a substantial difference in your child’s development from what is suggested in these lists of milestones, contact the child’s pediatrician or other health provider and ask for an appointment. It may help to remember that, at times, a physical problem such as frequent ear infections or an eye problem may slow development.
Concerned parents can also call their local Child and Family Connections office to arrange for a visit by a service coordinator (see http://www.dhs.state.il.us/page.aspx?module=12&officetype=4&county=). He or she will schedule free evaluations of the child’s development. If the evaluation determines that the child is eligible for Illinois Early Intervention Program services, the service coordinator will act as the family’s personal contact during the time the child receives these services. (For more information, visit the Illinois Early Intervention Clearinghouse Web site at http://www.eiclearinghouse.org/getting-started.html.)
What resources are available in Illinois for children who may have special developmental needs?
See our FAQ “Where Can Parents Find Help for Young Children with Special Needs?” at http://illinoisearlylearning.org/faqs/special-needs.htm.
Illinois Early Learning Tip Sheets
- Bullying Hurts Everyone
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/bullying.htm - Children’s Social Competence Checklist
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/checklist.htm - Dealing with Distraction
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/distraction.htm - Encouraging Child-to-Child Conversation
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/conversation.htm - Encouraging Words
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/encouragingwords.htm - Fuss Management: Comforting the Irritable Child
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/fuss-comforting.htm - Fuss Management: Planning Ahead to Prevent Tantrums
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/fuss-planning.htm - Helping Children Develop Impulse Control
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/impulsecontrol.htm - Helping Children Handle Disappointment
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/disappointment.htm - Helping Children Learn to Get Along
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/conflict.htm - Helping Siblings Get Along
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/sibs.htm - Helping the Often-Angry Child
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/angry.htm - He's Teasing Me!
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/teasing.htm - Kids Who Care
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/kidscare.htm - Making and Keeping Friends
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/makekeepfriends.htm - Manners and Preschoolers
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/manners.htm - Pets and Young Children
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/pets.htm - Play and Self-Regulation in Preschool
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/self.htm - Play Right—Don’t Bite!
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/biting.htm - Please Don't Go! Separation Anxiety and Children
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/sepanxiety.htm - Real Work: Preschoolers Can Help
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/realwork-preschoolers.htm - Take a Bold Approach to Shyness
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/shy.htm - Time to Play, Time to Dream: Unscheduling Your Child
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/unstructured.htm - Understanding and Accepting Differences: Why Can't Maria Walk?
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/accept-disabilities.htm - Using Words to Discipline Children
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/wordsdiscipline.htm - When Children Mourn
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/mourn.htm - Young Children Need to Play!
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/importanceofplay.htm - Young Children’s Mental Health: What Is Essential?
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/tipsheets/mental-essential.htm
Additional Illinois Early Learning Resources
- Handling Challenging Behaviors in Child Care: Aggression and Anger in Young Children
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/hemmeter/index.htm - Bullying in Early Childhood
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert/espelage/index.htm - Supporting Resilience in Children Exposed to Domestic Violence
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert/stephens2009/index.htm - Helping Young Children Resolve Conflicts
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert/stephens2006/index.htm - Saying 'No' to Your Child
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/katz2005/ index.htm - Young Children's Mental Health
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/wulfsohn/ index.htm - Helping Young Children Develop Friendships
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert/stephens2007/ index.htm - Sibling Relationships
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/askanexpert/kolburn/ index.htm - Supporting Children's Social Development: Strategies for Parents and Caregivers
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/katz/ index.htm - Using Words and Emotions to Avoid Two's Commotions
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/chat/medlyn/ index.htm - FAQ: How Can I Help a Shy Child?
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/faqs/shy.htm - FAQ: What Is the Best Way to Assess Young Children's Social Competence?
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/faqs/socialcomp.htm - FAQ: What Is the Role of Teachers in Young Children’s Mental Health?
http://illinoisearlylearning.org/faqs/mentalhealth.htm
Web Resources
- Emotional Development: 2 Year Olds
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/toddler/pages/Emotional-Development-2-Year-Olds.aspx - Emotional Development in Preschoolers
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/pages/Emotional-Development-in-Preschoolers.aspx - What Are Some of the Developmental Milestones My Child Should Reach by Four to Five Years of Age?
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/pages/Developmental-Milestones-4-to-5-Year-Olds.aspx - Assessing Young Children's Social Competence
http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/2001/mcclel01.html - Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning
http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/ - Child Development
http://cyfernet.ces.ncsu.edu/nncc/index.php?c=1080 - Common Signs of Slow Development
http://www.kidsgrowth.com/resources/articledetail.cfm?id=406 - Developmental Stages
http://www.aap.org/healthtopics/stages.cfm#inf - Dispositions: Definitions and Implications for Early Childhood Practice
http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/books/disposit.html - A Guide to Promoting Resilience in Children
http://resilnet.uiuc.edu/library/grotb95b.html - Having Friends, Making Friends, and Keeping Friends: Relationships as Educational Contexts
http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/eecearchive/digests/1992/hartup92.html - Healthy Start, Grow Smart Series
http://www2.ed.gov/parents/earlychild/ready/healthystart/index.html - Helping Young Children Make New Friends at School
http://ceep.crc.uiuc.edu/pubs/ivpaguide/appendix/clark-helping.pdf - Illinois Early Childhood Special Education
http://www.isbe.net/spec-ed/html/sped_early_child.htm - Promoting Children’s Social and Emotional Development through Preschool
http://nieer.org/resources/policyreports/report7.pdf - Early Childhood Milestone Map
http://www.autismspeaks.org/docs/talking_to_parents/Autism_brochure.pdf
Other Resources
- Caring for Your Baby and Young Child Birth to Age 5
Author(s): Steven P. Shelov & Tanya Remer Altmann, Eds.
Publication Date: 2009
Availability: American Academy of Pediatrics, Chicago - Touchpoints: Your Child’s Emotional and Behavioral Development
Author(s): T. Berry Brazelton
Publication Date: 1992
Availability: Addison-Wesley, Reading, MA - Touchpoints: Three to Six: Your Child’s Emotional and Behavioral Development
Author(s): T. Berry Brazelton
Publication Date: 2001
Availability: Perseus, Cambridge, MA - The Gale Encyclopedia of Childhood and Adolescence
Author(s): Jerome Kagan & Susan B. Gall, Eds.
Publication Date: 1998
Availability: Gale Research, Detroit
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